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He is happy to stay in his room. His wife never talked with him after the stroke and got a divorce 2 years later. My son could not hold a job if he wanted to. God works in strange ways because now what little he does is a big help when I am having a bad day. I just worry what will become of him when I pass. My second husband proposed to me with the following words: “How would you feel about marrying a man who won’t live to be 50?” He was 37 years old when he said this, and apparently in good health. I knew he was an epileptic, but his epilepsy was very well controlled by medication and there was no obvious reason why he might die any younger than anyone else. I was really shaken up by him saying this, so I asked what he meant by it. “I don’t know,” he said, “but I can’t picture myself going as far as my 50th birthday.” I put what he said down to some odd thinking, and we got married.

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My ex from a fourteen year relationship occasionally worked odd hours, I’d call him at work to ask what he wanted for dinner and to cheer him up a bit. Then, over the course of three months, there would be ad hoc times when I’d call his desk phone but get no answer so I’d call his mobile, initially thinking he had probably finished earlier than anticipated and was on his way home (and to check that he wasn’t keeping me hanging while he went off to the pub without telling me).

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So I’d call his mobile and ask ‘where are you?’. A few times he would indeed ‘be on his way home’ – yet things were off. I’d never told him that I could often tell when he was lying, he had a certain smugness about him when he did it, sometimes he would even have a particular smirk that he would do when he thought I wasn’t looking (and I can ‘hear’ someone’s facial expression when they are on the phone – probably due to many work hours and long distance boyfriends in the past). He would claim that he had just left the office yet there would be dead silence in the background, none of the usual urban sound of cars going by or his footsteps on the pavement etc.

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Or he would be ‘walking to the train station’ but I could here someone in court shoes clearly keeping step beside him for the duration of the call. I began to chat even longer just so I could listen to what was going on around him. I didn’t let on and he grew ever bolder. He started telling me that he was still at his desk. Lol. He worked in an open plan cavernous office yet he was clearly in a small enclosed area when he answered the phone – even in silence the two sound distinctly different. Sometimes he even answered the phone and chatted to me whilst lying on his back.

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I did eventually confront him (there were plenty of other clues too) and I used the fact that I had previously called his desk phone immediately before reaching him on the mobile for the last three months as one of the reasons I believed he was having an affair at work. What I didn’t tell him was the fact that I could also read the background noise so I knew he wasn’t where he claimed to be. Two weeks later he called from work one night to say that he had missed out on getting a pizza delivered to work for dinner (something he never did) and the pizza delivery guy had given up trying to call on his desk phone to get the front door opened – but the phone never rang.

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Anyway, because of the material, the jammers were pretty tight. After swimming for a while, I got out to sit by the pool when some lady walked over to me and told me to change my swimsuit. Now, she wasn’t a lifeguard, just some chick. Apparently, because of the tight fabric, her little 4 or 5 year old kids could see the hump created by my junk. I wasn’t erect or anything, I’m just pretty… big. I told her that I wasn’t going to change my swimsuit and she should just sit with her kids somewhere else or tell them not to look at me. The lady was about to say something else, but then a guy I assume was her husband rushed over and told her to leave me alone after making her apologize. She looked at me as they walked back and I laughed at her silently.

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