I could never leave and allow these two lovely people who are my parents to flounder around on their own in their old age. And my life is so good these days. There is no one calling me names or stealing from me or lying to me. I am surrounded by love, and also my other family members are grateful that I am ensconced here and that I take such good care of their beloved grandparents. My life has changed so much in the past three years, sometimes I want to pinch myself to see if this is real. I have plenty of time for myself, I come and go as I please, and spend my money however I want it.
When she had money problems she seemed to panic more than most people should. I thought maybe she just had anxiety but looking back it was cause my dad couldn’t know she too out even more credit cards. We went out to eat at least five times a week. She almost never cooked at home. She went to the casino all the time to the point where they started comping mine and my sisters daycare services. (Which cost upwards of $8 per hour per kid.)
He was pissed when he found out she had a reverse mortgage on the house he let her keep. (Yes I say let. He paid for that too and still gave it to her so the kids could live with her. Even after dropping half a million on her debt.) by the time we sold the house my sis and I got a fraction of what it was worth. He thought we’d get enough to be able to each get our own homes. Which we would have had she not taking out a massive loan for her gambling and she maintained the home. My dad wanted that house to serve as an investment for my sister and I. She turned it into her own bank account to serve herself.
I have a friend who has two older sisters. Brenda, who is 27, and Michelle, who is 23. Brenda has 4 children, Michelle has 3. Now, both her sisters, although married (at the time) and with kids, continued to live at my friends’ house. They had houses as well, but for some reason, they continued to spend the most time at their parents’ house. My friend said, “Brenda doesn’t give my mom money. But I yelled at Michelle and now she only gives her $100 a week”, 100 DOLLARS, to care for THREE children, they show no remorse towards the poor woman.
My friend always tells me of how both sisters leave their kids with her mom, while they go out and party and get drunk. My friend’s mom is far too nice and does not say a thing, although often complains and has painful moments. My friend says that the sisters work all week and they leave their kids there, so their mom will care for them. On weekends, the kids are left there as well.She has told me many stories of the mess the kids make, from spilling paint that their moms didn’t secure, all over the dresser and beds to knocking over a statue of the Virgin Mary that was besides the TV.
And I mean it. There are no more deserving people in the world. I will do everything in my power to keep them out of a nursing home or assisted living. MY dad has told me numerous times that if I hadn’t moved to the country, they would have had to sell their home and property and moved into assisted living. My mom has dementia, and it is getting worse all the time, and she counts on me to be there and help her through the confusing things in her mind. She is at the point where she knows something is not right, and that her short term memory is about gone, but she doesn’t know that it is from dementia.