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Obsession is destructive, it prevents you (and your partner, if I didn’t choose to be black I just got lucky shirt you are obsessed with him/her) from living a fulfilled and happy life and it can be dangerous. You are filled with fear and anxiety (what if they won’t be part of your life anymore?), or you are living in a world where you idealise your partner.True love is much more about the other person than it’s about you – you want them to be happy and achieving their goals. You want to be there for them and support them whenever they need you without expecting anything in return. Seeing them happy is much more important for you than ‘owning’ them and being with them all the time. You aren’t blind to their faults and weaknesses, you are fully aware of them, but you love the person despite all their imperfections. You will love them and support them, even if you can’t be together in a relationship.
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You are having your own life, I didn’t choose to be black I just got lucky shirt your hobbies and interests, your dreams and plans and you don’t need the other person to ‘survive’, you just wish/want to share your life with that person and be part of their life. However, if it’s not possible, if you can’t be in a relationship with them, you aren’t desperate, you are happy to support them in achieving their goals. Seeing them happy makes you happy. You have more joy when you see them succeeding, than you would have if you achieved your goals. Similar it is more painful for you seeing them being hurt, than it would be if you went through misfortune yourself.