I lost even more once my uncle conned my dad into giving him some of the teacups my grandma left to me so he could give them to my cousins without my permission. I was 10 when my grandma died and left them to me and I spent time with her every day, my cousins were over a decade older than me and rarely spent time with her while I was alive. I lost more when after losing my job, my insurance, my mom, and finding my dog had inoperable sinus cancer my aunt was focusing on how she thought me going cold turkey on my pain management meds because I couldn’t afford any of them anymore was a good thing because it would “get those toxic things out of my system” than anything else.
The relationship I had with this man, “Chris,” was tumultuous. I was in my early twenties and stupid for sticking around with him. He had a temper, and I had low self-esteem. He would start fights over stupid things, like the time he wanted mashed potatoes for dinner. He liked potato flakes, I like mashed potatoes from fresh potatoes. I was willing to prepare both for our meal that evening, but the fact that I wouldn’t eat potato flakes set him off.
This time his need for a fight escalated to beyond insanity. He kept pushing me to my emotional and psychological limits. I could feel I was close to “breaking,” which scared me because I didn’t know what it would be like to lose control of myself. I knew it wouldn’t make the situation better at all. I don’t remember what happened to escalate it to the point that I felt like my grasp on my self-control was slipping, but I remember the “oh sh-“ feeling.
I used to smoke cigarettes back then. We were outside and he was yelling at me, getting in my face in a threatening manner. I was smoking a cigarette when that realization dawned on me that I was losing control. I took my cigarette and burned myself, so I could get the calming effects of the release of endorphins. He stormed up to me and hit me so hard across the face, my glasses flew off my face and landed in the grass, misshapen.
Somehow, I managed to get my hands on a phone and I called his mother and his best friend’s wife, both of whom came over immediately. (Yes, I should have called the cops. I didn’t want the further instability that involving the law would present.) After they arrived, they noticed the smell of gas and I became very emotional in my recounting of the events that recently transpired. After they helped make sure things were defused and safe, they left.
I lost most the rest of it when I was at my aunt and uncle’s anniversary party and my aunt spent time bashing my grandma, slandering her by claiming my grandma said she wished one of my aunt and uncle’s daughters died in an accident instead of my older sister and how little my grandma left to them. My grandma died over 20 years before then and even my dad, who usually values being polite over reacting to things like that, was 100% we’re leaving now. That basically took me from “I have no respect for you” to “I though I had no respect for you but somehow now I still manage to have far less respect for you anyway.”